The Courage to Be Disliked

The entrepreneur’s obsession will inevitably be what’s best for the business—not what makes them popular.

Entrepreneurs start companies for many reasons. We crave freedom, ambition, and the thrill of solving a problem. We see a market to be unlocked, a curiosity to be fulfilled. But let’s be honest—it’s also about fame, sex, and money.

Or, to put it more diplomatically: attention, relationships, and wealth. The first two are particularly interesting because, at some level, every founder wants to be liked, respected, and admired.

The problem, however, is that to be successful, you need the courage to be disliked.

Building a company isn’t about creating a great vibe, prioritising fun, or putting friendship first. It’s brutally hard. And the more successful you become, the more unforgiving it gets.

For a founder, the mission, the customers, the product, and the company’s growth must always take precedence. No amount of pink sofas, energy bars, Friday gin and tonics, or lavish off-sites will change the fundamental truth: the entrepreneur’s obsession will inevitably be what’s best for the business—not what makes them popular.

Most successful founders I know are humble, genuine, and kind. They aren’t inhuman; in fact, they often care about people more than most. Because they work incredibly hard and live unusually intense lives, relationships matter to them deeply. It’s as if every aspect of their existence is dialled up to the maximum—caring intensively about the company, the clients, the employees, and their personal relationships all at once. Ironically, the most common complaint among entrepreneurs isn’t that they don’t care about people—it’s that they wish others cared more.

But running a company means driving urgency, momentum, and constant improvement. It requires making big bets, taking uncomfortable decisions, and pushing for change every single day. And change, by definition, makes people uncomfortable.

Founders create accountability. They move fast. They don’t always respect hierarchies or structures. They question everything. They shift responsibilities. They make decisions over people’s heads. They hire, fire, and reorganise. In short, they do the things that very few others have the stomach to do—because if they didn’t, the company wouldn’t grow.

But it’s not a playbook for how to be liked or make new friends.

Of course, they also inspire like no one else. They believe in people, promote them, and create an environment of unmatched learning and meaning. But the paradox is this: the more successful a company becomes, the less the founder is liked within their own walls. They can be admired as a company leader and founder, but not necessarily as someone you like. The very reason they started—the desire to be liked—is increasingly out of reach.

That’s why so many founders feel more appreciated outside their own company—by clients, business partners, and the media. In those spaces, relationships can be built without the relentless discomfort of company-building. There, they can be relatable and celebrated without having to be the person who just made someone’s life more difficult that morning. In a strange way, the safer place is outside the company, not within it.

You might achieve fame and fortune. But if you want to build something truly successful, you’ll likely have to accept an inconvenient truth: you probably won’t do it without being disliked.